Planned Acts of Niceness

As As a mom, it’s easy to get caught up in a world that consists only of your children and everything that concerns them. But as a person, it’s important to remember that random acts of niceness can go a long way, both for you and the receiver of these acts. A coffee in the morning for a colleague, a gift certificate to dinner for your child’s teacher, or even paying for the next person’s laundry when you pick up yours are small acts that may have big results. With just one small act, you can set off a series of good acts as people pay it forward. You’ll find that when you do, these acts pay big dividends and you’ll begin to do them over and over.  

Recently, I have set a personal goal in order to achieve ‘my random acts of niceness’ quota by establishing a once-a-week good deed. Not only has it provided me a great sense of personal satisfaction when “presenting” the niceness act, it has also kept this niceness “ideal” very top-of-mind for me. And as I’ve filled my quota weekly, I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone is connected, related somehow. It’s that connection that we thrive on, that connection to each other is the very reason why giving back feels so right. It’s our way of claiming a place in the world and with that claimed place comes a desire to serve others in the world community. And as both mothers and people, it’s our job to make sure we don’t forget that.   

Share a Good Book…Share Your Love

Often, moms crave some alone time. We crave just a little time alone to cuddle up with the latest Danielle Steele novel or the most current Oprah magazine. But instead of “reading solo”, consider taking that time to cuddle up with a book and your child. We all know that we serve as our children’s first and most “powerful” role model. And when we compound this knowledge with experts advising that when reading aloud to infants stimulates their brains to create new learning pathways and that reading to preschoolers is the most important thing families can do to prepare them for reading….we should really take heed. According to the the Zero To Three organization, children really do love to read, not just because they find books interesting, but because it is a joyful and bonding experience with a parent (zerotothree.org, 2002). The National Research Council confirms this same finding by concluding that reading with a parent provides a time for emotional closeness and provides a foundation for understanding the value of literacy (1999).

On a personal level, I have always been a reader. One of my greatest joys as a child–was adding to an ever-expanding book collection. This love of reading eventually led to my pursuit of an English degree in college and my continued fascination with the written word. It is not surprising that my children also love to read (my daughters took to reading like fish to water—my son required a bit more prodding). Our family typically does not watch TV every evening….and instead, we read. Consider dedicating a few nights (or maybe just start with one) a week to read together. Think of it as a 2 in 1 benefit for your kids—knowledge wrapped up in emotionally warmth.

Balancing Your Time with a Baby

Having a baby is one of life’s greatest joys, there’s no doubt about it. Most moms would agree though that once that baby arrives, their time is no longer their own. First you go through the huge adjustment of having a newborn and never knowing when you might be feeding or have a clue as to when they will sleep. Then you start to get a little more adjusted and then it’s time for the baby to be mobile, and the cycle goes on. It’s safe to say that every mom goes through a period of time wondering when they might get some “me time” back.  I’ve found that a few minor tweaks in the daily schedule can help a bit and hopefully these tips will help other moms out there that have struggled with the problem of how to get everything done in a day when you have a baby.

*Work while you can around the baby’s schedule. Once the baby goes down for a nap, use that time to get the necessities done that day. Recognizing that you will never get every little thing done, make a list and work through it in order of priority. There are many days that I have to let some tasks go as I have to be realistic about how to use any free moment that I have.

*Let some things go and know that it’s okay. There’s no such thing as a super mom and trying to be one will only stress you out. If you only threw in a load of laundry but couldn’t quite get to dusting, let it go. The chores will always be there, and you just have to know that you can’t get it all done like you used to.

*Remember your number one priority. Even though it’s tempting to try and breeze through a huge to do list like you used to, your new and most important focus is the baby. You are taking care of that little bundle of joy and that’s the most important way to spend your day. If you get nothing else done in a day but ensuring that the baby is well fed and taken care of, then that’s still a very good day.

Learning to focus on your high priorities and sometimes let the rest go can make your days with baby much more enjoyable. Every time you feel stressed out and as if you can’t get it all done, take a look at that sweet little face and remember what it’s all about.